The Onion reports,

"Masturbatory Prose Style Fails To Reach Climax"

Writer Terrence Hendrie's debut novel I, Me, Eye, with its lengthy sentences and elaborate footnotes, failed to result in a climax, sources reported Monday. 'Hendrie really works himself into a frenzy, massaging his love for obscure vocabulary,' bookstore owner Robert Silvers said.... "Then, after 385 pages, the wanking-off ends abruptly, leaving the reader unsatisfied...."

(Thanks to Maud Newton's blog for tip off on the late breaking news.)

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